Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

  Everything I write is what I have come to know & believe to be my own truths. Some of it is pseudo-anonymous but that makes it funnier, so if any of my friends are reading this, chill.  If anything you read begins to grind your gears I only ask that you take a breath, put your ego aside, and trust that a cigarette, wine or cold beer will help you to wind down.

Heads up:  If that doesn’t work there is a red box with a white X in it at the top right hand corner of your computer.  (Click, Click Moron)

You are entitled to your opinions; just try to keep an open mind and a bottle of whiskey near by if you think I’m going to care to hear them.  Get shit-housed and make fun of me if that’s what makes you laugh.  Seriously, I have no problem making another person laugh, even if it’s at my own expense.

 Admittedly, I’m not a fan of blogging.  I’ve always thought blogging seemed like the epitome of everything wrong with the world:  the most self-indulgent narcissistic tripe spewed out for anyone with a modem and a search engine to see.

 I honestly get sick to my stomach at the thought of having anything about my personal life made public; my daily life is not meant to be published in any form of literature.  This blog is not meant to be interpreted as some esoteric journey referencing the life I choose to live.

It’s very simple –

I’ve seen & have had my fair share of pain, drama, break-ups, divorces, suffering, heartache, addictions, tears, death, hurt, depression, rejection  and abandonment.  Admittedly, it’s a shit-show out there and I honestly believe that laughter is the only cure.  If not a cure than I undoubtedly believe it’s a step in the right direction towards the happiness we all strive for every single day.

I’m not trying to justify myself for giving into the blogging hype, but blogging wasn’t necessarily on my agenda for the new year.  I’m only keeping a promise I made to a younger girl, Samantha.  It’s an odd deal/promise that I had made with her, I will supply a more significant understanding of that later on. Honestly,  I’m not ready to just yet.  However, Sam lived her life tied up by a knotted string of unfortunate events that consistently occurred throughout her childhood.  Even after all what she would describe as the “damage” that was done ….  Facts were facts – she was uniquely brilliant in an unusually beautiful way & I treasure every moment that we shared together. 

‘I’ve seen terrible things, and lived through each of them with my pride and heart intact, and I became just that much funnier for it. People made me laugh, and that laughter healed me.’

So, this is life’s bullshit.  This blog is meant to be taken lightly. If you can’t read things that you might disagree with and you aren’t capable of maintaining some form of placidity, I suggest you redirect your narrow-minded clown ass somewhere else. I also suggest counseling but if that doesn’t work feel free to message me; the truth is I can always use an extra laugh or two from some hot-headed asshole.

If things go terribly wrong with this damn blog then I could blame Sam.  Unfortunately, I don’t think blaming her will suffice.

  That’s why I’m grateful to have someone who’ll just call me a crazy and laugh with me about all the bullshit as the day comes to an end.

Yes, he’s amazing. He totally knows it too.

Most of the posts you’ll find to be surprisingly mundane…

…the rest is a bunch of my own bat-shit crazy nonsense that I like to project on people from time to time.

With that being said, I’m pretty raw so if you could just take my babble at face value & laugh at all the make-ups, break-ups, fuck-ups & fake-ups that would be great.  I refuse to disguise myself to be anything other than EXACTLY who I am.  I had a hard enough time figuring that out over the past two years to begin with and I’m grounded to what I have discovered.  Turns out, I’m really awesome.

  (Except on Mondays – I suck at life on Mondays, it’s inevitable.)

Anyways, I guess we’ll just see how it all unfolds as time goes by.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock                      : )


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