I Have A Perfect Body

30 Aug

I have a perfect body.

My legs are extremely long, extending me all the way up to the exact height of 5’7.  My knees perfectly in the middle that bend when I tell them to (My left knee pains me every so often due to an injury back in my early 20’s but I can make do with what I was given).

My arms are tan, with elbows that are a little knobby.   My shoulders that sometimes feel like they are being over-stretched like in high school Physics class, right before the rubber band in those pulleys broke – I love every single freckle on my over-stretched shoulders, I really REALLY do.

My face is slim and I have high cheek bones, I also have a knot that’s barely noticeable right above my left eyebrow (my sister kicked an iron bar at my head and knocked me out– that story will one day resurface to it’s fullest potential but that’s not for today).  

My skin is tan and I’m extremely grateful for how one day in the sun produces such a beautiful color.  

Admittedly, I’ve struggled my entire life with how I look.  I was a little pudgy as a child (as most of us are at one point). I had extremely broad shoulders and my back was “too muscular” (Yes, this was one of my biggest complaints as a teenager).

I have weighed everywhere from 113 lbs to 135 lbs throughout my twenties– At all points on my sliding scale, Ive always been battling the scale–  I’ve always found something to dislike about myself.   At my thinnest, it’s how pointy my nose looks and as odd as it may sound my nostrils have always seemed to bother me.  Alongside that, my butt was too small and not “plump” enough– whatever in the hell that meant to me, I don’t know anymore because I think it was just another term I liked to tack onto my delusional description of myself.   At my heaviest, I hated my “big” hips and would paralyze myself obsessing over how wide they made me look while facing forward.

One of my best friends- she’s stunning.  (she is beautiful in every sense of the word, and is Hispanic with a naturally stunning features from head to toe — She worked hard to keep up with her great figure but God definitely built her without any identical features between the two of us). I admired that type of beauty that I couldn’t seem to fibd in myself so many years .

 I’ve never been any larger than a C cup and I’m fairly positive I never will  but I have been smaller.  Regretfully, naive and vain, I allowed myself to alter God’s work but even with great results I still wish I hadn’t.  It is what it is and I’m not ashamed nor proud; it’s just a fact.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been trying to be more positive about my physical appearance.  I knew that if I were to just take a big step forward by learning to appreciate what I’ve got, that full length mirror would find it’s way out of the closet and stand upright in the most unavoidable space I have available in my house.  

It wasn’t until today, I hit a notable turning point.

I tell my best friend how stunning she is all the time. I tell my grandmother that she looks just as beautiful as she did in high school.  My sister has an amazing body and has dedicated herself to an admirable routine, working out and healthy eating habits in such a way are truly inspiring.  The results she has worked so hard for are unimaginable.  My other sister– Her hair falls perfectly in place, no matter what. It’s thick and wavy and free of any dye or highlights.  Long or short it never seems to fail her and curves around her face bringing out the color in these enchanting little freckles she has all over her nose; they’ll make any man fall in love– guaranteed.

 Why do I tell all of these women in my life that I think they are perfect, but I can’t seem to tell myself the same thing?  Amy Poehler said, that when we talk to ourselves or about ourselves, we need to imagine talking to our daughter or sister; to the women that we have strong bonds with and even the women that we don’t know but compliment anyway .

When we tell them that they’re beautiful, we’re not lying because they are beautiful.

So Am I — So Are You.

While I will never be that perfect size between too skinny and to chubby.  I may not have been given every feature that I’ve admired those models in fashion magazines–

I am still as stunningly beautiful in my own ways.  

I have a body that gets me out of bed every morning, allows me to bend and stretch it in any and all ways that I ask it to.  It has been with me through every moment of my life; it’s strong enough to get back up every time I fall down, healthy enough to breathe in so much life; a world that I believe in with an unwavering love.  

This body, this life, the image I see in my mirror–Well, she is beautiful, stunning and she is loved.

The bump on my forehead above my eyebrow? It has a story- THAT little story has forced a grin onto my face every time I take notice in that bump.  My pointy chin that I’ve failed to mention until now?  Well, it comes from my Father’s side of the family, we all have it and it identifies me with those that I love– my son has my chin, my son defines outstandingly handsome and I love his chin so I love mine.   My shoulders?  Years beyond years of hard workouts; swimming competitively and playing water polo – Morning and Night – A dedicated athlete; it wasn’t just a sport but a lifestyle, one that I can still be proud of taking on at my very best.

 From my gorgeous sisters and best friend. Those beautiful features I have admired in others– I have them too. My torso is just a bit longer, my hips are curved perfectly and my hair is, well,  just how it is– even when the humidity makes it crazy, no matter how closely it gets to resembling some sort of frizzy, curly afro. It is mine and I love every strand.  

I got out of the shower this evening and stared at myself in the mirror, realizing every single detail so that as I did I could accept all parts that are just as beautiful as every person that is reading this post.  

It really was an unfailing opportunity to find the power in love at it’s fullest potential-
             -I’ve realized there is so much to love about myself:

Like my bright blue eyes that change with the weather.

My curvy hips and waist that make me look like a woman, especially when I strut around in nothing but my underwear.

My neatly cut hair that blows around when I have the windows down in my car.

The color of my skin and how breathtakingly soft it is.

The sound of my voice.

Unbelievably amazing lips.

Two hands with ten fingers and two feet with ten toes.

My bellybutton (no matter how weird I think bellybuttons are, I have always thought mine is cuter than all the others).

The little dark freckle that stands out more than any others– placed perfectly on my chest.

 

All of this, every thing I saw in that mirror today is who I am, it reflects where I come from and what I love. It is ME. 

 

My body is perfect because it is mine. 

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